Something I've often pondered is the possibility of cross-dressing yet still retaining one's masculine character. This isn't as strange as it may sound. Many of the often-cited incidences of cross-dressing in 'primitive' societies do not involve a complete change in presented gender. Closer to home, we have proponents like Eddie Izzard who says; "There is no such thing as men's clothes or women's clothes, just clothes." While I disagree with him, his postion suggests the possibility of retaining one's masculinity even when cross-dressed.
For example, why should cross-dressing imply "full drag"? Personally, I am often quite happy to slip into a pair of lacey panties, a skirt and T-shirt when I get home from work. No bra, no wig, no makeup, no shaving. I love the clothes, I feel great and it's a relaxed, comfortable style that suits me and the situation. What's more, I don't act in a feminine way. I'm just me with different clothes on.
If it is possible to enjoy transvestitism in this way, I ask myself why a transvestite needs to shave his body - or even his face - why the walk, the mannerisms and the voice of a woman should be imitated. Indeed, why we should try for 'the illusion' at all. Maybe there is a way to be more who we really are while at the same time feeling pretty and attractive?
The power of this notion is that it could allow men to dress up in the same way that women do without needing to feel that they are female in any way. The transvestite could move out of the closet and onto the street and all men could participate in what would be merely a new fashion and lifestyle choice.
The problem with this approach is that it misses the point that transvestites actually want to look or even feel female instead of just looking attractive in a feminine way. The 'new fashion' would then merely be a front for an underlying behaviour disorder.
Introspection is hard. Not only is it difficult to probe to the heart of one's own feelings, it is also difficult to determine the truth or falsity of one's own beliefs about oneself, and it is hard too to be completely honest with oneself about what one finds. I have looked into my own feelings about why I cross-dress and I find that, as much as I wish it were otherwise, when I'm dressed I really would like my body to appear female as well as my clothing. The idea, therefore, that men could cross-dress in some superficial way is probably flawed. As I say in my essay on causes, transvestitism is about presenting the appearance of a woman. If this is true, nothing less than looking female will truly satisfy the transvestite. If there was a style of dress that was similar to female dress but was culturally acknowledged to be male all the same, my guess is that it would not be enough.
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I think you can be "cross-dressed but male." I like wearing pantyhose and I frequently wear skechers mary-jane style shoes with my male attire. Some may call this "gender-blending," but essentially it is the same thing. Sometimes I just find certain types of women's clothes fit me better or are more comfortable (such as the skechers MJs or Keds sneakers).
I've got to agree. Even though I wear women's clothes for all kinds of reasons, I must say lots of them are far more comfortable than what I wear as a man. I wear women's panties all the time now, partly for that reason, and whenever I wear a dress (loose-fitting or lycra, or something diaphonous and gauzy) I just wish I could feel that comfortable all the time!
I am one extremely fortunate TV. My partner is very happy for her 'girl friend' to be around and encourages her at every opportunity.
I am lucky that I scrub up quite well and present as an acceptable female having a light beard growth, fresh complexion and a reasonable figure (size 12/14 jeans and skirts and 16/18 tops)
We shop together, go out for the day and generally live as two girls would for large portions of time. This creates another totally different aspect to transvestite relationships.
Does she have a leaning towards a lesbian outlook? Am I one lucky transvestite or a repressed transexual? Or, though she loves 'him' unconditionally does she just find the naturally gentle nature of his female persona preferable?
She loves to see me in the kitchen cooking and being 'girly' as she puts it and is just very happy to have me around. She is a lady with no hangups a hard working, very well grounded, natural, loving person. I consider myself unbelievably blessed - not just for the above but for all aspects of our lives together.
I enjoy motorcycling and am very practical in all areas of building and joinery. I'm not particularly feminine in general demeanor but become girly, waspish and rather camp in 3" stilettos - or kitten heels. And of course I generally feel very comfortable and relaxed.
But, we must remember that Georgina as she is known, has none of life's problems to bother her pretty head.
Not for her the stress of life in Britain today. She just appears and
lives her life as she pleases - what a lucky girl! Here we have another potential escapist theory possibly worth investigating.
But not for now it's late 1am and I'm tired.
Finally I agree with most of your conclusions you have clearly thought long and hard about the issues. However, as you imply, this subject has legs and will run and run.
Georgina
1. Varying "quality" level of CDing
The CDing level required by the CDer - from just wearing undies or a pantyhose under male clothes, to full dressing femme including voice transforming - varies greatly among CDers, as well as during the life of every CDer.
Moreover, it can vary on a day to day basis.
As an example, everyday my need for CDing can be different. It is much like the weather forecast ; at times my crossdressing is very calm and a bit dull, so that bra, skirt and top will do it. At other times, my crossdressing is more bright and sunny and I need to be fully dressed up to feel really good. It may become even stormy and it will happen that I need to try compulsively my whole wardrobe and accessories, and constantly admiring myself in the mirror wearing different outfits, just like a real GG. At other times, I need to discover something new, for instance I will shave for first time a new part of my body.
In any case there are whole CDing sessions when I behave just as your classic "male in a skirt" : I can spent a whole day doing my standard male activities looking merely semifemme. There are others where I feel much more girlie with that overwhelming need to look as the sexiest possible woman so that I can’t do for hours almost anything productive but crossdressing and feeling femme.
2. CDer presenting herself as a man in a skirt
I received the confidences of a fellow CDer, of a very masculine appearence, who used to present herself typically as "a man in a skirt", with no need to look really female. He ended by recognizing that - quite rarely - he needed to wear makeup and a wig. I observed it had been rather difficult for himself to acknolewdge her feminine behaviour ....
Obviously I won't generalize from just one case. However this example fits perfectly my own experience. I didn't pay much attention at my external female appearence for most of my life, since I was in the closet with no feedback from anybody.
Then, the most important was what happened within myself, whatever my very external appearence.
Early 2007, surfing on the net, I discovered the whole world of CDing and TGirls and had been challenged by the gorgeous pictures en femme showing the high quality level of transformation that most CDers are able to reach.
I rated my own level as near the bottom-end so that I tried harder ever since. My new aim was to reach a much better level of transformation enfemme, and to be able to go sometimes outside enfemme. The frequency of my CDing increased a lot, so that I had to come out to my SO, what I did in 2007 and I began going outside enfemme a few months later, early 2008.
That means I have been a man in a skirt for most of my life.
Note that I finally began wearing makeup and shaving parts of body as late as after 5 decades of closet CDing !
In my case, external feedback from the environment may have been decisive for own CDing.
3. A male fashion of pretty clothes
When I came out to my SO, she suggested to buy me a scottish kilt.
But, for me, wearing a kilt has virtually no interest at all.
I need a skirt for girl-only, not a skirt specifically designed for men like a kilt.
A nice scottish skirt has a great deal of appeal to me.
Neither does a kilt with the same pattern of colors.
What is important for me is wearing *women* clothes. Hence, whatever the cloth's look or material, that means I want primarily to appear like a woman.
I often observe that other transvestites will claim otherwise. Many of them will tell you they favor the woman clothes uniquely because they are prettier and more comfortable and agreeable to wear, not because they are just woman clothes. They are sincere but I doubt they are always right, especially concerning undies. My SO bought me expensive male undies that are really wonderful to wear, and of a much higher quality than most woman undies I own,
Of course I prefer wearing these man undies, because they are more comfortable and so well adapted to my morphology ... and since - being not conspicuous - they don't alter at all my woman appearence.
4. Cross-dressed but Male, or "bright with cloudy intervals"
Feeling like a woman is the summum pleasure for me.
Nevertheless, even with the prettiest woman look, I know I remain a male.
I am a male with female intervals. ("cloudy with bright intervals")
As many CDers will say, I am "a part-time woman". So that I am "Nadia sometimes".
I don't deny my male nature, so that I have no drive to be a full time woman, no drive to appear constantly to others as a woman.
This questioning is crucial for understanding crossdressing and assessing the differing varieties of crossdressers.
- Do you deny your male nature, or are you globally accepting its ?
The full time TGirl may deny on a large extent she is male, and will apply the ostrich politics to convince herself she can be - or at least as a first step - live constantly as a woman.
The TS denies she is male at all.
There seems to be a continuum from the large time TGirl to the TS.
You know well the saying : "What is the difference between a CD and a TS ? Answer : 2 years".
In fact it doesn't apply to the standard CDer. It may apply to the full time (or quasi full time) TGirl.
I believe it applies to whoever denies being a male.
Wanting to be LIKE a woman is different from wanting to be a woman.
Once, as a teenager, I wanted to be a girl.
Rather early , I decided I wanted it no more.
I now understand I decided at that moment I only wanted to be LIKE a woman.
Nadia-Maria
Well, I can agree that it is possible to do so. Despite my love of going full drag when I can conveniently do so, I am perfectly content to dress up how I feel.
It varies from day to day, so I don't worry too much about how feminine I look normally, but sometimes...
Anyway, you can still be cross-dressed, but male rather easily.
I also agree that one thing is gender, the other thing are gender-related clothing. You can be fully male in your actions, intentions, the way you communicate and in all your body language, while at the same time aiming to recreate a perfect female image.
In fact this pretty much reflects a large number of crossdressers I know.
Also, I have no problem whatsoever with "partial crossdressing" — and I find it a bit annoying that so many people in the community tend to scold the partial crossdressers as "not being 'real' crossdressers". It's ridiculous! One should crossdress as much or as little as one wishes, without fear of being "labeled" as "right" or "wrong".
I personally get my signals a bit confused when I see a fully female crossdresser but who acts, behaves, and speaks like a guy. But is there any harm in that? NO. The problem is MINE, because I expect someone who looks like a girl to act and behave like one (I'm socially conditioned to think that way). But that's MY problem! There is nothing inherently "wrong" in it!
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